Howie's Hot Wings
- Howie Bulka
- Oct 9
- 8 min read
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On occasion, when I am persuaded to put Buffalo Wings on the menu at Howie’s Artisan Pizza it is always with regret. There is a certain sadness I feel every time I make the call to Jake at Bi-Rite and tell him to tag a gallon of Frank’s Red Hot onto our dry goods order. Even though I regard chicken wings as a pox on the pizza business, a carbuncle on the beautiful body of my artisan aspirations, I am bound to a higher duty. Hospitality is the invisible hand that coerces misanthropes like me, to do the right thing, and put the requirements of others ahead of my own. The dictums of hospitality tell us that it’s a sin to say no. I guess if the customer is always right, then they are rightfully entitled to eat chicken wings in my restaurant even though it irritates me.
For reasons I cannot comprehend, pizzerias and chicken wings became inextricably linked in the mid-sixties and to this day Howie’s Artisan Pizza and every pizza joint in North America is expected to sell them. Fancy Italian restaurants with tablecloths, wine cellars and burrata are, it seems, exempt from this responsibility, which is unfair. I Have no disdain for chicken wings, but they stick out like a sore thumb on my carefully constructed casual Italian menu, sending mixed signals to my current and future clientele about who we are and what we stand for.
But it gets worse. Having uncaged the beast, we find time and again, much to my disappointment, the incendiary buggers they sell like hotcakes. On any given day, on any given menu, Howie’s Hot Wings will be our best-selling appetizer, by far. When wings are on the menu, our little restaurant becomes a landscape of shameless souls sucking on their sticky fingers while strewing soiled paper napkins across the tabletops. Customers call ahead checking availability. Social media lights up. I am conflicted and complicit in this world that has become a winging because, in selfish pursuit of profit and ‘likes’, I am a sometime purveyor of the best damn Buffalo Wings, ever.
Years ago, I worked as a consultant to Lyon’s restaurants, a chain of about seventy-five restaurants, what we used to call ‘Coffee Shops’, operating in California and Oregon. If you’re old enough to remember Shecky Green, you probably remember Lyons. I was brought in along with a group of industry heavy hitters to find a way forward for this ailing restaurant chain. Our mission was to restore the company’s long-lost profitability or failing that, re-concept the restaurants or at the end of all hope, sell the whole shebang to a new operator, mercifully granting a dignified death to Lyon’s Restaurant Inc.
One way to make a restaurant (or 75 of them) more profitable is, of course, to increase sales. This would be the ‘top line’ strategy. There are many ways to do this but improving the quality of the food is always near the top of the list. My path was laid out before me. I was given office space at the Lyons headquarters in Foster City, a shiny new test kitchen and for the next two years of my life, I entered the inner sanctum of shitty food. I became an expert in its processes, supply chain and the high-level hucksterism that’s required to sell processed food to the public. I became educated in the preparation of ‘Shakes’ without milk, mashed potatoes without potatoes and buttery biscuits without butter. I’ll save the lengthy and gruesome details for my memoirs, suffice to say that Lyons restaurants no longer exist.
My work began, not surprisingly, with the ‘Starters’ section of the Lyon’s menu; ten or so appetizers, snacks and small plates, which included Buffalo Wings. It was decided that I would present the fruits of my labor every Friday afternoon in the conference room, in front of the Executive Committee composed mostly of the heavy hitters mentioned earlier. For each menu item under consideration, I would first show the Committee the dish as it was currently prepared at Lyons restaurants. Then I would show the dish in its original, often historical form and then I would offer my own variations and/or interpretations of the dish. Lyons Buffalo Wings were certainly lacking. Not good, but not so much worse than other chain restaurants. They used a pre-breaded, frozen wing. The original Buffalo Wing, as prepared at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo New York, was a fresh wing and not breaded. Lyons, to their credit, used the authentic ‘Toss’ recipe, which is two parts Franks Red Hot and one part melted butter. The wings were fried, tossed and presented on an oval plate with celery sticks and a gobbledygook of artificial flavors and modified food starch they called blue cheese dressing. I recreated the same plate substituting fresh chicken wings which I held in brine overnight, and a yummy dressing made with Maytag Blue cheese. I twice cooked the wings so that I could get a nice golden brown and crispy skin without overcooking the wings.
in its ‘Original’ form Buffalo Wings are a solid dish. It’s hard to argue with the most popular bar snack of all time. But there’s always room for improvement. I had an issue with the original Buffalo Wing. In the sixty years since Buffalo Wings were served at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo New York, tastes have changed. We have all become more accustomed to spicy food. The original ‘Toss’ was considered intolerably hot when it was first slathered on a fried wing. So hot in fact that a ‘chaser’ of blue cheese dressing applied with a celery stick was needed to cool down one’s palette. Franks has a nice kick, but its pablum compared to Tabasco, Texas Pete, Sriracha or just about any of the brands of hot sauce on the shelves of a Mexican grocery store. I felt that by current standards the original ‘toss‘ recipe lacked cajones. It was simply not piquant enough to carry the dish. So left alone in the Lyons test kitchen, I began my descent into endorphin land as I added Scoville units to my wing toss, unabashedly adding cayenne pepper and Calabrian chili. The vinegar increases the volatility of the other ingredients, bringing the fire to one’s nostrils and back of the throat. It’s a devilish little trick.
The recipe for Buffalo Wings I share with you now was developed over many months in that test kitchen. Its countless variations taste-tested by every admin, accountant and night watchman that ever walked the halls of Lyons headquarters. But it’s true bona fides, the reason why I can say with confidence that Howie’s Hot Wings are the best Buffalo Wings ever, was certified in that conference room in Foster City all those years ago, when the Executive Committee of Lyons Restaurants Inc. gave Howie’s Hot Wings a resounding and unanimous thumbs up.
Buffalo Wings (aka Howie’s Hot Wings)
Yields App. 3 Cups
This recipe is my variation of the classic Buffalo Wing. Beware! These wings really are hot, spicy hot. There’s enough cayenne pepper and chili oil in these babies to spontaneously combust. They are addictive. The heat will build as you eat them. Keep a ‘chaser’ of Blue Cheese or Ranch dressing at the ready. A cold beer works just as well. I’d rather you didn’t monkey around with the recipe, but if you want to tone it down, simply reduce the quantity of cayenne pepper in the recipe.
I am hesitant to recommend deep frying in a home kitchen. It is messy and dangerous. But so are a lot of things. Rather than compromise a great recipe, I have provided some simple common sense safety rules that, if followed, will greatly, if not entirely, reduce the risks of frying at home. They are included at the end of the recipe directions. Please read them.
Buffalo Wings
Yields 2 or 3 appetizer portions
12 ea Whole Chicken Wings, preferably fresh
As needed Wing Toss (Recipe Follows)
As needed Celery Sticks
As needed Blue Cheese or Ranch Dressing (good quality store bought is fine)
As Needed Oil for Deep Frying
Cut the wings into three pieces at the joints; discard wing tips. You will then have 24 pieces, 12 ‘flats’ and 12 ‘drumettes’.
Rinse the wings under cold water. Drain. Dry with a kitchen towel.
Time permitting, lay the wings out on a cookie sheet and refrigerate, uncovered overnight to dry out the surface of the wings. This step is optional.
Following safe practices, fry the wings in hot oil (375 F) until golden brown.
Remove the wings into a large bowl and ladle app. 1 cup of the toss over them.
Toss the wings until they are fully and evenly coated.
Plate the wings, leaving the excess Toss in the bowl.
Serve the wings with Ranch or Blue Cheese Dressing, celery sticks (optional)
and the excess ‘Toss’ in a side dish.
Wing Toss
Yields 3 cups
120 g Butter, unsalted
2 tbl Cayenne Pepper
450 g Franks Hot Sauce
60 G Oil from the Calabrian chilies
30 G Dijon mustard
30 G Distilled White Vinegar
In a microwave safe container, melt the butter with the cayenne pepper.
Place the Melted butter mixture into the bowl of a bar blender.
Add the remaining Ingredients. Puree until smooth and homogenous.
Hold refrigerated.
To Safely Fry food at Home
Use a large, heavy-duty pot with a metal lid. Cast Iron or enameled cast iron are best.
Never fill the pot more than half full of oil.
If your pot has a handle, position it inward and out of the way
Have strainers, tongs and a landing area at the ready
Don’t fry wet ingredients
Fry in small batches.
Use a thermometer to monitor oil temperature.
Keep a fire extinguisher nearby
Keep Flammable things such as kitchen towels out of the way.
Don’t even think about putting oil (grease) fire out with water. It will explode violently.
If a fire breaks out, turn off the heat and cover the pot. Don’t try to move a pot of hot oil.
A Note From The Editor
While Howie and I will argue for hours on the validity of pineapple on pizza, we do both agree that wings are best left off the menu of Pizzerias. This anomaly of an otherwise fairly homogenous repertoire is accredited to "La Nova" a Pizzeria near the progenitor of the hot wing, Anchor Bar, who fatefully decided to add the wings as an appetizer. The trend was later picked up by fast food pizza giants and lo and behold, here we are today. The Italian customers I've had the pleasure of serving over the years seem to understand what Italian-American fare is, but the hot wing, is still a preposterous notion to the uninitiated. However a hot wing alongside pizza is much the same as a Dutchman's mayonnaise alongside a French fry; It's simply part of the culture. And if generations of us ever-changing Americans have come to expect those saucy, spicy, wings alongside our pizza and pasta, then perhaps its place on our menu is a deserved one.
With Extra Napkins,
L.B. The Editor
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